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ahousenearyou Movie Review

Heartbreakers

Starring: Jennifer Love Hewitt Sigourney Weaver Ray Liotta Gene Hackman and Jennifer Love Hewitt's Breasts

In all honesty, there are probably only 3 ways you could get me to see Heartbreakers.

1. Some chick wants to see it with me and has suggested that the movie would be followed by beer and sex.
2. I go to the cinemas to see a different movie... walk into the wrong cinema which happens to be showing Heartbreakers, fall down and break my leg with no chance of getting up and no audience to help me out, I may as well watch the movie while I wait for cinema staff to find me while cleaning the cinema after the film.
3. Fudd comes up with free tickets to the premiere for the boys at a house near you.

One of the above 3 happened, so we watched the film.

Basically, "Heartbreakers" is the story of 2 dirty sluts, a mother and daughter that con rich men out of their money. Luckily, feeble minded scriptwriters had them only stealing from other people who were morally bad. We didn't see a poor old 77 year old man who'd lost all of his hard earned money to some tart, and now couldn't afford his heart operation. No, we saw a guy who refits stolen cars and a guy who is some crazy tobacco industry man and therefore pretty much Satan.

The story focuses on the Mother trying to con a multi billionaire guy for 1 last big score to set her and her daughter up for life while the younger of the 2 goes off trying to start her own scam on some unsuspecting rich dude who happens to be really nice... but will she fall in love giving us a moral to the story and blowing the whole scam?

While the story was pretty much feeble, this movie was not a total write off.

Jeniffer Love Hewitt was incredibly sexy and was totally believable in her role as an evil monehungry slut.

Her breasts, it must be said, really stole the show. We pretty much had a constant rise.

Ray Liota and Gene Hackman were also cool, their characters did enough cool things to make this movie watchable for your average male.

Sigourney Weaver, well, she really should be off chasing Aliens. She was pretty much disgusting in this movie, yet it was supposed to be believable that had managed to marry like 15 guys. I really wanted to punch her in the face. But that is probably how we were supposed to feel about her.

I'd say, if you're female, go and see it... if you're male, only go and see it if one of my above requirements are met.

Rating out of 7 7's.