Wallace awoke... he found himself again in the now familiar
surroundings he had come to know as the beast's lair. Once again, the
beast was asleep in his rocking chair. But the beast had been far more
careful this time, Wallace was chained to the bed. His arms tied to
the bed head, the links of the chain cutting into his flesh. They stung,
but not nearly as much as his head or jaw.
Wallace pulled at his chains... "fucken hell"
he whinged... "why me?". He began to cry... tears streamed
down his cheeks, not being able to move his hands, he could not wipe
them away, they tickled his face, it was awful, like Chinese water torture.
It all became too much, he started crying like a baby, screaming. "Why
me? why oh why? I just wanted to go to the fucking shops!"
Wallace's cries were loud... too loud. The beast awoke.
He pushed back on his rocking chair and got to his feet. Wallace noticed
him moving and instantly stopped crying, he froze perfectly still, his
eyes wide open. As the beast approached, Wallace forced words through
clenched teeth "p.p...please don't hurt me!". The beast walked
closer until he was right over Wallace, he looked over him quizzically
and then glared at Wallace.
"You should not have tried to escape little Wombat"...
he growled from the back of his throat.
Wallace knew it, he was done for. He'd never get back
to his home now. All he had to look forward to was all this to be over,
but he feared it would only come to an end when his life did. "Please
don't kill me! I'm only little!"
The beast spat, hitting Wallace in the face, Wallace
turned in disgust. "Silence! little Wombat!" his voice boomed.
"And look at me when I speak to you!". Wallace turned and
looked up at the beast, shaking with fear. The beast glared at him for
what seemed like an eternity before continuing to speak. "I will
let you live little wombat. But I will need something from you in return."
Wallace felt an overwhelming sense of relief "Anything,
Anything! just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it!".
"Excellent..." replied the beast. "Here
is my problem." He paced the room as he began telling the story.
"For a number of years now I have lived in this valley. I have
existed only in rumours and legends. This is because I do not leave
the valley. Everything I need is brought to me. Unfortunately, my old
servant, is...... no longer with me. So you my little friend will take
his place."
Wallace was terrified. "w.w.what would I have to
do?" he asked, though he really didn't want to know the answer,
he just wanted to go home.
The beast unclipped Wallace's chains and handed him
a list. "I require these items. You will go to the village and
retrieve them for me."
Wallace scanned the list. Over 30 items. Apples, carrots,
schnitzel, beer... the list went on, down the bottom of the list, A
gold watch.
"A gold watch?" Wallace asked puzzled.
The beast glared at him. "Do not fuck this up little
wombat. Be sure if you do not get these items I will kill you... and
I can assure you, it will be painfull."
Wallace headed to the door, but turned "oh... I'll
need money to get these items."
The beast laughed... "money? I have no money. Now
get moving, I require these items immediately."
Wallace turned to leave "Oh and Wallace... don't
bother trying to escape, you'll notice the tag in your arm". Wallace
glanced down at his arm. Amongst all of the pain he hadn't noticed it
there before, a one inch long blue wire was protruding from his arm.
"That wire is a receiver for a small explosive device in your arm...
should you not return within 2 hours I will detonate the device."
Wallace wimpered and turned to leave, again the beast
called out and Wallace stopped "and while you're in town, perhaps
you should pick yourself up a new Ventolin, you're going to be here
for some time."
As Wallace closed the door the beast was still laughing.
"You're a funny mother fucker!" Wallace muttered.
At first Wallace walked, just glad to be out of the
house, then the situation sank in. He had 2 hours to collect everything
on this list and he had no money at all.
Wallace started the countdown on his watch 2:00:00...
1:59:59. And he started to run. His chest tightened up. "Fucking
asthma" he slurred, to remind people that he's asthmatic. So into
town he went... past the old saw mill, 1:50:35. Past the old school,
1:35:27. And then into town. 1:15:28. It had taken longer than he'd
thought. All of his injuries had served to slow him down, his head still
throbbed with pain.
Now that he was in the town he had a new problem, he
had to steal all of this stuff. He looked around the jewellers for a
watch and found the perfect one... security seemed to be tight, they
had cameras and a very fussy looking attendant. The watches were all
kept in glass cases too. It was going to be tough.
The Other 29 items could be found at the supermarket.
He decided to approach these first. He grabbed a trolley and started
scooting around the aisles. Filling up his trolley. Old ladies kept
stopping him to ask if he was ok... he looked a mess. Wallace just kept
on motoring, determined, he had no time for chat.
By the end of the supermarket trip, Wallace had become
a master of the trolley, he'd jump off the ground as he turned it left,
banking around the corner. This would have been fun had his life not
depended on getting all this stuff in time.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity Wallace
had all of the items. Shit 0:42:15. He was running very late. And he
still had to get through the register and get the watch!
He pulled into the checkout, luckily there was no line.
The check out chick was a short little lady, with curly brown hair.
"Hello there little fella. How's your day going?" she asked
as she started scanning the items.
"I've had better". Wallace replied.
"You don't look too good, looks like you've been
in a fight with Mike Tyson!" she giggled to herself.
"heh, yeah, good one! I feel like it too."
he looked away, thinking to himself 'dumb bitch!'.
"That'll be $27.70 thanks" she said with a
smile.
Wallace patted his pockets... knowing full well he had
no money. "Oh gosh miss! I've forgotten my wallet, I must have
left it in that jewellery shop over there. I'll go and get it and come
back."
"Ok love" she smiled at him.
Wallace walked over to the jewellery store and walked
straight in. "Hello miss, I'd like to try on that gold watch."
She smiled at him. "Not a problem" she said
as she pulled the watch out and wrapped it around his wrist. Wallace
was so nervous he was shaking. "had a rough day young fella?".
Wallace nodded, as she clamped the watch to his wrist.
"Worse than you could know...".
"look, I'm sorry about all this..." Wallace
exclaimed as the woman looked up from his watch with a smile.
"How do you like that?" she asked.
*whack!* Wallace cracked her on the nose and she went
down, unconscious. Wallace walked out swiftly. "sorry" he
whispered.
He walked quickly back towards the check out chick...
it seemed nobody had seen him hit the watch lady. The check out chick
smiled as she saw him round the corner. "Find it darl?"
"Sure did" Wallace said. "I'd lose my
head if it wasn't screwed on!".
She giggled , Wallace reached for the bag of groceries,
grabbed them in one hand and bolted. He clutched them to his chest as
he ran out the door. The automatic doors opened with a woosh and he
was outside. As he ran away he could here over the intercom a call for
security.
Wallace dashed over the road and into a backyard, and
over a fence... he was away. "That was fucken cool!".
Wallace looked at his watch 0:37:43. "Oh shit,
I'm never going to make it."
He ran, hard... as hard as he could before. He was gasping
for air and really struggling. "Fucking asthma" he cried again.
But he continued running. back past the old school 0:13:22 "Fuck!"
and past the saw mill "1:15" - "FUCK!!".
"I'm never going to make it!" Wallace cried
to himself and he slumped to his knees, exhausted. He looked up into
the sky and screamed, "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!" It echoed over
the valley, then he had the realisation... an idea... a lifeline.
He ran again, into the mill, and into a workshop.
An old man was working at a electric band saw. "What's
wrong young fella?" he quizzed Wallace as he approached.
"I'm going to need some help in a second old timer..."
Wallace puffed. He placed his arm on the bench and pulled the saw down.
The shrieking of the saw was all but drowned out by
the screams of Wallace as the saw cut through his flesh and bone. A
clean cut straight through his arm, he'd sprayed blood and bone all
over himself and the old man.
The old man had looked at him horrified but had no chance
to stop Wallace. Wallace let the saw go, and staggered backwards, struggling
not to lose consciousness. "Quick, old man, get us out of here!"
he yelled, stumbling out of the barn. Wallace fell, the old man grabbed
him around the waist and pulled him out of the workshop. He laid Wallace
down outside the shed and started yelling.
"Fuck! what did you do that for..." all the
time working on Wallace, strapping his arm where it had been severed.
"You could have killed yourself you fool! are you crazy?"
Wallace's watch began to beep, he looked at it 0:00:00.
*Booom*. The workshop tore apart from the inside, a
massive explosion as the explosive device in Wallace's severed arm detonated.
Wood and machinery splintered,flying through the air, Wallace heard
the pieces whizzing by. The old man
knelt down sheltering himself from the carnage.
"Hang in there young fella, I'll get you some help."
said the old man as he called for an ambulance on his mobile phone.
Wallace looked back at the flaming building... and as
he lost consciousness he thought to himself "That beast is gunna
be fucken pissed off.... but I'll have my revenge." A wry smile
crossed his face as the world went black.
-Ends-
Stay tuned for the next gripping episode of Wallace
The Asthmatic Wombat as Wallace recovers in hospital, learns to cope
with the loss of a limb and plots revenge on the beast.... or something
like that anyway.
