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Since Ye Olde Times, people have loved gold. The dictionary
describes it as - A soft, yellow, corrosion-resistant element, the most
malleable and ductile metal. Pehaps people really want it because it's
ductile... but I'm guessing people want it cos it's worth a lot and it's
shiny. Everybody loves gold, but one thing is for certain, Indians have
an unmatched passion for gold. So when visiting an Indian restaurant on
Friday night. We decide to embark on a mission to find the Indians gold.
Every good expedition needs a theme song, something to sing
when your spirits are low. Where would the 7 dwarfs be without "Hi
ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go?" - not at work, I can tell you
that for certain. Sammi came up with a magical theme song, check
it out.
Apon arrival at the restaurant, the Indians looked worried...
come to think of it, so did all of the other patrons there. They must
have known we were onto them... either that or they were scared of a bunch
of fully loaded guys carrying a bottle of wine each. They ushered us into
the back corner of the restaurant... they're trying to throw us off the
scent, they are shifty, no doubting it, they've been protecting this gold
for some time, they're good at it.
Putting us in the back corner of the restaurant was never
going to halt our search. We had a group of 10 people at the table, they
were sceptical about the gold, but they humoured us and tried to help.
Louise suggested that maybe the table legs were filled with gold.
But no luck, all we find under the table is Stu pointing
to a table leg and sammi holding a lighter.
There is an electrical cupboard tucked away in the back
corner of the restaurant.. it has all manner of switches and fuses in
it. It would be an ideal place to hide the gold from pretty much anyone
but an electrician, but alas, there would be no gold in there.
Notice the mysterious blacked out people... not everybody
wants to be on ahousenearyou.com
We figured we probably should journey further than our table
in the search for the gold, it would be quite convenient afterall.
A door marked "Staff Only" was nearby. We were
unable to get through this door. Look at that door handle... is that gold
I see?
Our lovely waitress couldn't tell us what was behind the
staff only door... perhaps only the truely Indian staff were entrusted
with the secret. She in fact denied that there was any gold at all. She
looked honest enough. Perhaps she had not been told the secret of the
gold, for if she does not know the secret, she can not give it away. Stu
thought she was sexy. This didn't help us get any information.
As more alcohol was consumed... visits to the bathroom were
required. This was an ideal time to scout out the location for the gold.
Upon entering the bathroom we see the usual things.
A Basin.
A Urinal.
A Shower
A shower? What the fuck? Who's ever heard of a shower in
a restaurant bathroom? Perhaps our first real clue. And look at the colour
of that paint... is that a goldy colour? if this was Burgo's Catchphrase
we'd have "Golden Shower" Burgo would love that, but anyway,
I'm getting sidetracked. We couldn't find any gold in the shower, perhaps
they use this shower for washing after mining expeditions. We didn't really
think they mined the gold though, just had it hidden there, so perhaps
they were digging an underground tunnel, perhaps to transport the gold
to a safer place, I dunno... I'm getting discouraged... need to listen
to theme song... get me back.
Ahh, that's better.
Later in the night, a discovery.
Is this the gold we'd been looking for? Surely they wouldn't
be so bold as to put it on display? would they? perhaps this was a cunning
plan. Cunning and the Indians are two things that go hand in hand... like
a child and a parent crossing a busy street.
Stu is our designated gold expert and examines the gold
for purity... it does indeed not look much like gold, it actually looks
like a little Indian woman statue... perhaps the gold has been molded,
I was hoping to find gold blocks. It looks more like copper actually,
on reflection I'm starting to think we were just drunk and never really
found the gold at all.
I would have thought the owner of the restaurant would be
scared that we'd found the gold... but no... just look at him, he was
more than happy to pose for a photo, he even turned on a light in a cabinet
that made the artifacts appear more golden. Our thumbs up pretty much
say "cool, we found the gold"... judging by his grin, his pretty
much says "I've outsmarted the boys from ahousenearyou"
I guess we should thank all of the staff at the Indian Restaurant...
they really were good sports and the meal was delicious. Oh, and thanks
to everyone on our table for putting up with us while we looked for the
gold.
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