The Amazing Lottery Predictor

After the success of our Wimbledon prediction system, we've decided to turn our predictions to something more profitable, the lottery.

Why you haven't won yet
Most people believe they can just guess the numbers and they'll be right. Now what are the chances of that? How often does someone give you a million bucks for going "duh... 7, 23, 16, 42, 9 and 8"? almost never! So if you are yet to win the lottery, it's not becuase you're unlucky, you're not putting enough effort in, you're too damn lazy.

Some people analyse numbers of past lotto draws and develop systems to cover all the bases, this is not the answer, previous draws are in the past, they don't count for shit. The answer is far more simple - Table Tennis.

How does it work?
The lottery in Australia requires you to pick 6 numbers. We will do this by playing 6 games of table tennis, each house member will play each other once. It is not a standard game though. The game runs until one of the players reaches a 7 point lead. At that point, we take the score, that becomes 1 of the numbers. We do this til we have enough numbers then we purchase a lottery ticket, wait til the next day, I'm not sure of the exact process, but we pretty much give them the ticket and collect a million dollars dollars or so. I'm really looking forward to that bit.

Wow! I want a million dollars too. Can I use your numbers?
Yes, sure, of course you can... we like to share. We think it only fair that we receive a commission though. It is a million dollars after all, and you really didn't have to do a lot of work now did you?

The Numbers:
7, 8, 12, 17, 27, 38

Terrific, I've won a million dollars, how can I thank you?
Email us at thanksforamillion@ahousenearyou.com with any feedback you may have.

Hey, I've been entering those numbers... why haven't I won a million dollars yet?
Ok, our numbers haven't worked, we're the first to admit that. Give it time though, they will work. At the moment, we're assuming that the folks at Tattersalls have not been properly maintaining their equipment. But rest assured, as soon as they clean out those machines for their yearly service, the numbers will come up. Don't be in such a rush... jeez, it's not like you had to do much for the numbers, we had to play 6 games of table tennis... how ripped off do you think we feel?

Note: This page has been kept totally colour free as a tribute to the Collingwood football club, not due to my lack of design skills.